Facebooks memory feature can at once make me feel completely self conscious (did I really need to send that many “what’s on my mind” posts about my hangovers) and nostalgic (Awe my 31st birthday was pretty lit). Todays memory however, brought forth a different feeling- gratification.
4 years ago today I began the journey of helping people discover their passions. The only qualifications I’d had at the time, were that I’d been intently following mine for two years before that, I’d read and committed to practice what I believe to be the bible on living a passionate life “The Passion Test” and I’d just become a Certified Law of Attraction Life Coach. Other than that, what I realized, is that more than qualification, I contained a knowingness inside me that was as real as the fact that you are reading my words right now. I explain in my workshops that my passion findings were a truth that I’d always known, and that by following my own passions and allowing them to guide me, I could now articulate what it all truly meant. Only now, I could do so more coherently. Judging by the “lightbulb moments” my attendees experienced I knew the same could be said for them. Which was the biggest lesson on my passion journey. I’m not teaching anyone anything they don’t already know, I’m merely awaking that same knowingness inside of them.
That lesson was one I had to continue to remind myself when I’d look at my attendee list and see therapists, other life coaches and psychologists signing up for my workshop. Initially I dealt with bouts of imposter syndrome; What could I teach someone who’s gone through years and years of formal training, about passion? They’ll ask me questions I won’t be able to answer and I’ll lose the trust of everyone in the room…But, that never happened. My most critical reviews were more around logistics (this workshop isn’t long enough, I need more one on one attention) than content or my knowledge. I learned that this knowledge I had garnered was a gift and I needed to stop questioning whether I was adequate enough to share it.
Passion is a journey and I was lucky that I got to be a part of so many! I had attendees that lived practically next door and those that traveled from as far as Japan, Australia, and everywhere in between. Partnering with Airbnb gave my little workshop such a huge reach I got the opportunity to not only share my story but be a part of the stories of people I would have never as intimately interacted with, if it hadn’t been for the connective power of passion. Passion is a topic that EVERYONE is interested in. It’s that thing that whether you’ve got it figured out, or are still on the journey to discover, draws you in. It’s as illusive as it is tangible for some, and it is always always always fascinating. The topic continues to remind me that we are more alike than we are different.
While passion is the topic that has connected me to people in more ways than it has divided, I realize that I am NOT for everyone. I once had a session attended by two best friends. It was clear that one friend had dragged the other to the workshop and the one that had been dragged, was not picking up what I was putting down. She laughed at me behind my back, rolled her eyes during some of the exercises, and had left all of her materials scattered on the ground when the workshop was over. After that workshop was over I felt so defeated I called my mom and cried. Then there was the group that sold out the workshop! They were all family and celebrating the birthday of the person who had signed them up. Sounds like the start of a great workshop right? WRONG! This group was NOT here for my talks of passions wheels and passion lists. They were there to party and toast the birthday girl. That session ended in an actual food fight! Another defeat. I decided right then that I would be more rigid, I would set the tone more intently, I would kick people out who were too disruptive. After these two sessions I realized that I’d let the folks who weren’t FOR me, dictate how I acted. I was allowing the folks whose journey I wasn’t meant to be an important part of, control how I acted with those whose journey I was an important part of. I’d taken the reactions of people who were on a different journey (neither bad nor good) personally. After realizing this I began each introduction to the workshop with “Some of this information will ring true, some of it won’t. Take the stuff that you need and throw away what you don’t”. That small intro freed me and I was able to lean into my purpose even further.
As passion is ever evolving my interest In the workshop has also been cyclical. Depending on my emotional and physical well being, I’ve learned that to continue to do this work, I have to be in a healthy place. There have been times that I stood in front of group of people completely broken and those were the sessions that I feel I robbed myself in doing the fulfilling work I’d set out to do. My attendees didn’t see it but I did, and every weekend I had someone sign up would feel like impending dread. If I’m going to be in the wellness space, I have to be well.
During this time off from The Passion Workshop, dealing with the uncertainty of Covid-19, impending motherhood and loss (more on that later) I’ve had to do some much needed soul work. When I begin the sessions again I anticipate that they will look completely different because, like passion, this workshop is ever evolving, always working in favor of my best interests and constantly moving me toward my purpose.