I am 40 and that feels like the ultimate “F” word. It feels like FREEDOM and a time of heavy FOCUS, like the beginning of FUN and the FINALITY FRIVOLITY. It also feels like a big middle FINGER to all that I have felt I am supposed to be and the expectations of what life is supposed to look like. Though I might say, life looks pretty f*cking good! During my birthday month I came to realize that life exists in the grays-that area in your life that is still not so crystal clear. The grays do not offer the easy answers to life’s pressing questions, they say “yes your relationship feels good today but there will be times when you question if it’s the right move” or the grays may make you realize that your heart and mind can feel both fully open and whole one day, and still be broken and blocked the next. I’m learning to be open to the grays, to know that most things are not absolute and in that gray area there can be so much beauty and discovery of new ways of being and thinking. It reminds me that pain and happiness are all moments in time and that the present is all that really matters.
Because I celebrated for the full month and honestly so much happened in that month (and for those rolling their eyes I’m 40, so cut me some slack) I decided to break these posts into 3 parts. The first will start with my business/ creative trip to Dallas.
The first stop on my “Forty the Ultimate “F” Word” world tour was Dallas. I had been wanting to not only visit my friend Susie who had just moved there but I was itching to do my passion workshop outside of LA.
When Susie invited LaJon and I to come down for a weekend of creativity – she and him to present at an art show, and me to facilitate my workshop, it was as if the stars were aligned. So off we flew.
I’m not one for melodramatic airport pictures that humble brag about the importance of travel, however, there was just something I realized in this moment that I had to capture. It’s a mantra that I say in my workshop “intention, attention, no tension”. When I began the workshop my only intention was to connect with people and inspire them over a topic that had become close to my heart, I continued to give that topic my attention through all of the ups and downs of what being a small business owner creates, and finally when I let go of what I thought the finished product should look like, when I had no tension around the outcome, the results were more incredible then I could have imagined. Here I am standing in an airport, ready to hop a flight with the man I love, so that we can both go and work on our passion projects together! In the little story of how all of this played out in my head, I could not have imagined this being a part of the story. It was at this moment where I really realized that stuff about the journey being much more special then the final destination.
As a city, Dallas was more than I could have imagined! I stan for a cute, artsy neighborhood with restaurants, bars and specialty stores and Dallas delivered on all fronts. I suggest heading to the Bishops Art District and Deep Ellum where you can fall in and out of all of the aforementioned places. Some other really cool places to check out while you’re there are San Martin Bakery & Restaurant Snooze An A.M. Eatery, La La Land Cafe (they employ kids aging out of foster care so how can you NOT support) The Statler for rooftop drinks, The Adolphus for drinks, a day at the spa or to just to see how the top 1% are living. Try a slice of pie at Emporium Pies and stop into The Laughing Willow for the sweetest smelling boutique I have ever been in. I bought vintage champagne and wine glasses that they shipped to me and they were delivered smelling exactly like the store!
Here are more pictures from our Dallas trip…
My favorite thing to do in the morning is grab a cup of coffee at a cute coffee shop. LaLa Land was the perfect place to fall into
Part 1 was the perfect way to begin my birthday adventures. The trip reminded me of my love for travel and the need to cease over planning and add more exploration into my life. I was grateful to share it with Susie and LaJon who both just remind me how good it feels to be loved and accepted wholly for who you are right presently. We had such a great time exploring the city of Dallas together and I loved our 3 Amigos camaraderie.
The next part of my Forty the Ultimate “F” Word adventures will be all about how I celebrated my actual birthday weekend. It was filled with a lot of joy and a lot of sorrow. Tune in for the next chapter!