It’s been awhile since our last 3 Lessons post and I thought it was definitely time for a new one. Plus I’ve had some pretty big changes happen in my life and in my quest to reflect on it all and really be present in my new present, the best way to do that is to gain some clarity around it all. Looking for the lessons in all of these changes really helps me do that.
It can be really scary for some, to be completely transparent. The thought of being authentic, letting your guard down and allowing someone to see the true you can make even the strongest person want to run for the hills. I, on the other hand, am just naturally transparent, almost embarrassingly so. I mean don’t get me wrong, as transparent as I can be, I am also a people pleaser so there are times where I need to do a self check and make sure that I’m not going along just to get along. irregardless of that, I am not afraid to be me. I am open about my weaknesses, my strengths, the things that tick me off and bring me joy. I believe that by being myself, I allow those around me to feel comfort in being themselves as well. This trait although admirable in theory has often opened me up to criticism, specifically from those closest to me. Sure it’s easy for strangers on the internet to read about the most private moments of my life and perhaps find some inspiration or a commonality there. But, more often than not, it has been those closest to me who have a personal insight into my life who then turn it around and use it against me.
I recently began a new relationship with a wonderful man in which I’m incredibly happy and hopeful. When I introduced this person to family and friends, after their initial shock, and their perfunctory “I’m happy for you”. Came the warnings. “I want you to be happy but guard your heart”, “Tread carefully, this may just be summer love”, I’ve even had questions aimed at me about his financial status and warnings to make sure I’m not being taken advantage of. One person even went as far as to laugh and tell me I have horrible taste in men so they weren’t taking this new revelation too seriously. Granted, I’ve kissed some frogs and I’ve had my heart-broken. However, I’ve also met some fantastic men who just weren’t right for ME or our timing was off. In all of this though, I continue to love and open myself up to being loved,a trait I always thought was valuable, until I began to feel judged by it. Sure I understand someone caring for you and wanting to protect you, it’s incredibly reassuring in some ways to feel that there are people who care about my well-being, however, some of it doesn’t really feel like caring, as much as it does judgement. Being authentic has the opportunity to create kindred connection, it can have the opposite effect as well.
I’ve been asking myself how I want to go forward with this new relationship after the revelations of these past few weeks. Do I continue to be open about who I am? What if this relationship fails, how will it make me look? If these are the things people say to my face what are they saying behind my back? These are the questions I’ve been asking myself and sometimes they make me want to do what people who fear transparency want to do – run for the hills. Then God speaks to me through the many beautiful ways God communicates with us to show you that he is there, and this time God communicated with me via the above quote. It felt like a truth I’ve always known but had never heard before. “Insecure people try to make you feel smaller. Confident people love to see you walk taller.” Anyone’s reaction to you being your truest self has more to do with them and less to do with you. Whether someone supports you or does not, gives you insight into their own hearts not your own. Bending and twisting yourself into being what others think you should be is not living and the best parts of life are the moments that break us apart and fill us back up.
Graduations ceremonies are at the top of my least favorite events to sit through, however, seeing my baby brother graduate from the Alma-Mater of both my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother can be listed as one of the precious moments of my life. My brother Noah has taught me so many incredible lessons over the years lessons about how effortless love can be, how scary and incredible caring for someone who you can’t always protect can feel, how no matter whether or not you share the same DNA, we are all individuals with special characteristics and we do not belong to anyone but ourselves. Noah is the walking embodiment of what it means to beat to your own lovely drum. He could care less about parties and being social (something my mother and I love) and feels way more at home curled up in bed with a book or out in nature with animals. He has never tried to fit in and he has taught me what being true to yourself looks like in action. I’m so blessed that our souls connected in this life. God saw it fit that I be his sister and he my brother. This world is so much better because he is apart of it.
I have been presenting my Passion Brunch & Discover workshop for almost a year, and what was initially supposed to be a brunch every Saturday as grown into something more. I have now presented the workshop at private parties, retreats, a middle school, and even at a church! The topic of passion is at the forefront of everyone’s mind these days and it’s something I want to continue to explore so I’ve begun to offer my workshop weekly on Tuesday and Thursday’s at Sage Vegan Bistro. You can get your tickets here. I recently ran my first evening workshop and it was a revelation! It was intimate at 3 guests, the intimate setting gave me the opportunity to tailor the lessons to my guests and really allowed guests to engage such a meaningful way. The evening atmosphere just made it feel that much more special. I hope you sign up and join me!
So what are some lessons you all have learned over the last few weeks? I’d love to know in the comments below!
I’ve learn that life and relationships are forever changing and that like the seasons, relationships come and go. The true relationships can withstand all changes.