I am back with my series “3 Lessons” after a short hiatus. Since then, I’ve had many lessons over the past few weeks. So many in fact, I feel like I should change this post to “20 Lessons & Counting!” In the time since my last post, I’ve traveled, I’ve hosted a much smaller more intimate Passion Brunch, hosted out-of-town guests, have been fighting a terrible cold, and really rethinking how I spend my time and who I choose to spend it with. It’s never a dull moment around these parts.
As you can imagine, there have been many lessons learned since our last visit so let’s get right to them.
As I get older I’m so much more deliberate about how I spend my time and who I spend my time with. When I was younger, I wasn’t focused so much on whether the activities I engaged in were healthy or fulfilling. I just cared about whether they were fun or not. Would it dim the always present insecurities I had? Would it make me forget that I wasn’t doing work I was inspired by or in the relationship I wanted to be in? The activities I found myself enjoying were more about blurring my reality (if even for just a few hours), than being present in it. After many years of doing this, many years of unhappiness, confusion and misplaced blame. I can now say that when you work on making your life a testament to who you are or at the very least who you truly want to be, your life begins to feel REALLY good. It all starts with being intentional in every choice you make, or at the very least being honest about why you’re making the choices you are. Do you find that you keep wanting to spend time with that guy that’s not right for you? Hello lonely. Are you continuing to hang out with that person that gets on your nerves and runs you low- maybe you find it hard to speak up for yourself? Are you still working at that job that you hate and doesn’t pay you what you’re worth? Maybe you’re comfortable and you’ve rationalized to yourself that the evil you see is better than the evil you don’t?
I’m learning to be more deliberate about the choices I make because as you get older you just realize more and more, time is so precious. This past Sunday I spent the day with two of my girlfriends and we took the above photo in an impromptu photo shoot in the lady’s room at this fancy hotel. As I looked at the pictures from the day, I realized that after years of nurturing relationships that weren’t good for me, I was finally among my tribe. I was finally doing things that didn’t feel like an escape but rather an enhancement of my already really really good life.
I don’t need to philosophy about the power of music. I’m sure if you’re a music lover that’s probably not a lesson you need to learn. But I will say that I’m learning more and more how transformative live music is. On the night this video was taken, my friends and I were looking for a place to fall into and have a drink and listen to live music. We had the kind of music we wanted to hear in mind – something jazzy, a bit R&B. So we Googled just that, however the place we ended up going to was anything but. When we saw that bluegrass was on the lineup we were turning on our heels to walk out when the Manager waived our cover and asked us to sit and have just one drink. We did and well…as you can hear above, the music was worth the stay. Staying open, has always served me well, however I forget that when I’m dead set on how I envision things should turn out. So here’s to staying open. Open to new ideas, open to new music, new experiences, and most importantly open to things not turning out the way we intended.
If you follow my life coaching page The Hummingbird Village on Instagram then you may have seen me post about my experience with Claudia at my last Passion Brunch. I thought the experience was worth noting on my blog as well…
When I started this life coaching work I did so reluctantly. I questioned if I was qualified, I was scared of being judged because I still had my own issues to work through, I felt the market was over saturated and that everyone was calling themselves a “coach”. After all that questioning and insecurity and getting coached on the topic myself(yes coaches need coaching) I just decided to see where the journey would take me. My goal was to help people to inspire THEM! But as I tell my Passion Pursuers have clarity around what you want but always end that with “this or something better” because that allows God to bring you what you need not just what you want. My “this or something”, better happened this past weekend. Claudia (@chaudjuh ) was signed up for my brunch by her mother Deb. Instead of getting things for her birthday, Claudia wanted more experiences! After suffering a brain bleed at 10 she has fought her way back and now she is authoring a book with her mom about her experiences to inspire others. She talked eloquently, she shared bravely and her spirit was beautiful. She was my “this or something better” ! I went into the experience nervous about whether or not I could accommodate her, if she would get something from ME! While all along I believe God wanted me to learn from her! Thank you Claudia for teaching me again that God has more in store for me than I could ever imagine for myself. You are my “something better”!
So party peeps, what is a lesson you’re taking away from this last week? I’d love to know in the comments below!